Vacant Reflections

by Michael Zucker

/
1.
Friend of foe? I never know which way to go I’m full of holes Masked remorse What’s good was never good enough for me I suppose I wanted more Much more than I ever deserved, like us all Fate gave me gold but I turned up my nose and laughed all the way home It’s a feeling you know Your winnings are never ever enough for your throne You’ll never be whole There’s nothing you have that can’t be sold and forgotten The matter of fact can still make you smile Even the richest amongst us die Even the meager survive I don’t care what you think Sometimes my life makes me sick Even if our sun burns brighter than yours ever will I’ll never get my fill
2.
For You 03:05
I’ve got a lot to give you I’ve got a lot to see I’ve got a lot of time on my hands and I’ll Make it some time for me If you could hitch a ride over That’d be real swell I’m leaving in the morning I’ve got some songs to sell And I can’t believe you’re leaving Who are you to speak? I’m emotional right now You better tone it down cause I’m Trying to take it easy I don’t want to fight I’m waking up each morning I’m staying up all night Do you even notice? What’s the difference then? If I’m me I’m living If I’m dead you can win And I can’t believe you’re leaving Who are you to speak? I’m emotional right now You better tone it down for me And I don’t want to live this way It’s all for you It’s all for you And I don’t want to live this way It’s all for you It’s all for you I can’t believe you’re leaving Who are you to speak? We get so emotional sometimes Better tone it down for me
3.
Ghosts 04:03
Will you see my shadows tail When I whip it toward you If the spine is crooked and pale And the light has left you Hear me when I speak A million miles and a million words All of it at once I aim to please the inner flame I could never when I breathed Will you walk while asleep Into the night where we’re waiting for you Cross the river with your bare feet scraping Hear me when I speak A million miles and a million words All of it at once I aim to please my inner flame so hear me when I speak A million miles and a million words All of it at once I aim to please my inner flame Will you walk alone Into the night Where we wait for you Cross the river With your bare feet scraping And your finger nails All rotted in salt
4.
Esper 04:05
Knowing isn’t half bad (It’s all bad) As living for yourself (You live for no one else) Facing that moment all alone (That moment comes true) In the dark of your head I wish there was something But I know that there’s not All is gone when you say enough And the rain pours down your cheeks Something in the wind can speak A solemn prayer can keep you whole And even if you grow Forever you’ll know It’s all for naught Savor the envy Savor the pain Savor the torment Savor the shame Of course you’ll savor the moment Savor the blame But nothing else matters when you’re in love Never say good bye Never say I’ve had enough Never say it’s too late Enough is enough
5.
Let’s all head to the swimming hole Where I know you wanna go You know we’ve been waiting all summer for you to come home And now that you’re finally here I’ve got nothing to say or share I need you so bad when you’re gone And I don’t expect you to understand While the leaves are turning greener I don’t expect you to hold my hand Your thumb is getting cleaner And time is drawing nearer Take me back to the swimming hole Where I know you know I’m whole I never get to feel the cold on my feet It starts to grow out of control I can’t take it when I’m alone Bring them to the swimming hole Where we’ll drown every soul Before they even know We’ll be gone and on our own Bodies buried in a hole so deep Nothing’s gonna stop me now Nothing’s gonna turn around Nothing’s gonna change And I don’t expect you to understand When my nose started bleeding And I don’t expect you to hold my hand When the nightmares start coming true
6.
Cold Venom 05:21
7.
Oneironaut 11:56
I lick my teeth But they’re not there I fall beneath the unaware I look at my hands Like I was told And all the color flushed from the world And I was floating not high above I picked my feet up and I was off Out through the window out to the world In search of no one and nothing at all No one was out there they were all gone I was alone All alone the only hero I’ve ever known Inside a worm hole that’s dead and cold On pins and needles Rob me of my slumber Tear me from asunder On pins and needles Make me not believe it Or everyone will see it Lost inside my home In the forest that I know When all the vision is washed away All the stones can grow Somewhere in the back yard A ladder to the stars Carries me high Sliding through my open doors And where I land is silence My breath is invisible And in the coldest moments My eyes twitch and bring me back To pins and needles Rob me of my slumber And tear me asunder On pins and needles Make me not believe it When everyone can see it Welcomes and wishes don’t do the dishes A flare is a snare from the coffee pots dare You live in a suit of aluminum foil A gaslight of salt from the tales of your toil I’ve whispered and waited but played like I’m dumb Dumbfounded and crowded with egos And needs And giving myself to myself I let go And then all the more invisible I will grow Until one day I phase out Nothing is left The trail of mortal is all but a theft When I've filled every once And drank every shot And stole every note And planned every plot And beat every foe Everything I’m not Then I’ll look at myself one last time For the truth I’ll remember the hands of my dream from my youth And I’ll stand by the doorway to heaven and hell And call for the angles to whisper and swell Then up from the canyons and cannon ball smiles And down with the tears and the crocodile bile We are the meaning The travelers too The only one inside of your head is you

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released February 14, 2020

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Michael Zucker Denver, Colorado

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